Observations20060527 -- ''It is sad that some people who can contribute much can
be disturbed and misdirected to concerns about what others may do to, or say 
about, what they contribute. The human reaction is to defend what is your own, 
even though in reality, nothing you post on a wiki is ever truly just yours 
alone, even if signed, since the wiki is open to all, including those who make 
changes which appear to have oppositional and contentious roots. Differences of 
opinion, character attacks, and contentions ensue, and the original intention to 
be helpful and contributive lose out.  It is best to refuse to contend and to be 
factual, making no direct or indirect statements which will contribute to, or 
perpetuate hostile commentary.  -- O''''''neDayOnly''

So if you've written and signed something, you're then happy to let someone edit 
it to make you look bad, leave your signature on it, and you wouldn't do 
anything about it?  Yes, when people act like that the original intention to be 
helpful and contributive do lose out. However, I am not willing to leave my name 
on material that has been warped in a malicious manner.  It's easy to take the 
high moral ground when you're not the subject of attack.

''I understand how you may feel that it is not easy to stand back and see what 
you have said misinterpreted or mischaracterized. It is the same way for me, or 
almost anyone. I have on occasion felt that I have been a target. I refuse to 
allow such feelings to deter me from my SimpleMinded direct approach. Most often 
attacks were based on what someone felt about what I said, what they thought I 
was meaning, not about what I thought to be its direct meaning. I cannot control 
others feelings, but I can control my own. Usually I apologize (taking their 
feelings as expressed at full value) and if possible reword or make a clearer 
statement not imposing bad feelings on their part to exist. It is sometimes all 
that is needed. Understanding and tolerance and a recognition of the fact that 
people who visit here bring with them all of their baggage and their background 
and that shapes how they react to others who are differently accessorized. They 
bring a viewpoint and an attitude which is often completely different from my 
own. I try to understand what appears to me as maliciousness from a different 
viewpoint, that they are not being deliberately disagreeable, but that they see 
things in a way I do not. If I can, I try to understand why they have reacted as 
they have. That is why I said that it is sad that interactions between wikizens 
can distract one or both of the parties involved in dialogue from the essence of 
what they wish to say about the concern and how they feel about it, to side 
issues and begin talking at each other, rather than to each other, missing the 
point of letting meaning flow. There have been times when I have felt as many 
others have, that it is easier to just leave off, to discontinue, to abandon 
dialogue and interaction. I haven't surrendered to that impulse because I 
believe it is better to keep trying communication than to stop. I learned a 
valuable lesson in an instance in a coordinating meeting some years ago when in 
the course of the meeting, I felt as though I was being personally attacked. 
I was inwardly just about to explode. But rather that do that, I quietly excused 
myself from the meeting and went to a friend's office, where I let go of my 
feelings in expressions which made my feelings to be '''ThinkingOutLoud'''. 
After about 5 minutes, I began to hear what I was saying and came to a 
conclusion, without the input of my patient friend, who obviously had an 
understanding of where I was coming from and allowed me to '''vent''', that what 
I was disturbed about, what had upset me, wasn't the truth of the matter, but 
how I felt about that truth being distorted. The feelings had drawn me away from 
the issue and had crippled me. From this I gathered a lesson which stood me in 
good stead since. That being that truth stands on its own, and that I must never 
take personally an attack on the truth as being an attack on me, and that I 
should continue to believe and proclaim truth to those who will hear it.''